10 Myths About Introverts



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Cover of "The Introvert Advantage: How to...

Cover via Amazon

If you want to understand social media naturals, I think you need to understand introverts. If you’ve read any of all the mematic “What I Whis People Knew About Me” posts, then you might have detected that a lot of influential bloggers share the common trait of being introverts. Knowing a lot of social media naturals, I feel that there might be some truth to such an assumption.

If this is true, then it’s one of those great ironies, that social media influencers often are introverts. Go figure.

However, there’s a lot of misconceptions about introverts. These misconceptions are derived from the notion that being extrovert is somehow better. Therefore, I was glad to find the book The Introvert Advantage (How To Thrive in an Extrovert World), by Marti Laney, Psy.D. From that book, Carl Kingdom has compiled a list of 10 widely spread myths about introverts.

It’s so good that I will publish most of the post, but the original can be found here.

Here’s the excerpt:

Unfortunately, according to the book, only about 25% of people are Introverts. There are even fewer that are as extreme as I am. This leads to a lot of misunderstandings, since society doesn’t have very much experience with my people. (I love being able to say that.)

So here are a few common misconceptions about Introverts (not taken directly from the book, but based on my own life experience):

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts
A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

Recognize this? Let me know in the comments.


31 comments
Nadia
Nadia

Bra inlägg, väldigt befriande! Jag är en introvert person men har sedan flera år tillbaka blivit mer och mer extrovert, till en punkt att jag pushade mig för mycket att det resulterade i en deperession. Något jag insett är att vara extrovert för en introvert person kan vara väldigt stressigt, just för att vi lever i ett stressigt samhälle där man värdesätts utifrån sin extroverta sida. Den kräver med andra ord att man ska mata sitt externa ego, genom att vara omtyckt av omvärlden vare sig det handlar om sociala relationer, prestation, utseende osv, något vi introverta inte har ett behov av. Känns skönt att få lite perspektiv på saker som man ibland inte kan koppla själv!

Anna Nilsson
Anna Nilsson

Spot on! I´ve always had a hard time explaining that I like to socialize, just not all the time or with everyone. This kind of put the words on how I feel, exhausted after too much interacting with people. Thanks for posting

Lolita Loco
Lolita Loco

Kept thinking "Yes! Exactly like that! Finally someone else gets it to!" reading this. Especially 4,5 and 6. And 2. Heck, all of them. It's not about hating social interaction or people, it's just that I don't crave it and it's not my "natural" way of being. I usually try to describe it by saying that being social takes more energy than it gives for me and even though I can truly enjoy interacting with intelligent, interesting people it's still exhausting (to me, at least) and after a while I need to be on my own and reload. Sort of riding a rollercoaster; as fun as it might be you're still relieved getting off... ;) I'm definitely an introvert, but that doesn't mean I'm antisocial or socially handicapped. I just... feel more at peace on my own. 

Doktor Spinn
Doktor Spinn

Exactly. Time to think and process is underrated in our society. 

Arne Weise
Arne Weise

In the words of Thåström - "Det är ni som är dom konstiga det är jag som är normal" =)

Fattar
Fattar

I fit right in! Except for number 8, I'd say that I'm more perceptive than 80-90% of the population. That comes from listening instead of talking.

NJ
NJ

Oh, thank you. This was such a relief to read, and I recognized myself in every single point.

Jenny
Jenny

I am a bit taken aback by the fact that this article comes as a surprise/comfort to so many readers - that really shows that the need to learn more is out there!  What helped me (a Swedish PhD in engineering living in the US) was to take the Myers-Briggs test pretty early on in my career.  I learned many things about myself, including why I behave and react the way I do in certain situations and why I was bullied in elementary school (you know, the place where everyone has to think, say, and act the same or you are not "in"). Another thing that makes life a lot easier for me is that I work in a research company, so most everyone else is an introvert too!  As a matter of fact, in this setting I am probably one of the more "extrovert introverts"...  Maybe the greatest help was growing up in a family where both parents are introverts.  At least I wasn't (that) strange at home...  It was probably hell for my extroverted sisters, though. Thanks for a fun, and obviously important,  read,

Doktor Spinn
Doktor Spinn

Insightful! This gave me some food for thought, thanks.

RobvonE
RobvonE

Wow, träffade mig precis! Tack för att du delade detta!

annaleje
annaleje

I have a problem with the diagnose of either or. I am more of an introvert, but since I am very talkative (but as stated above, when I want, about what I want, and with whom I choose), I always get percieved as an extrovert. I would say many people are a bit of both, depending on the circumstances.

Doktor Spinn
Doktor Spinn

Agreed, I'm guessing that this has to be seen as a reality in layers. Not only can you be a bit of both, but also be extrovert/introvert to different degrees.

Trdsounds
Trdsounds

Reading this gave me great comfort. Every explanation made me feel a bit less socially retarded. Which is good! ;) Www.soundcloud.com/TRD thanks for posting, from an introvert musician :)

Margret Gudmunds
Margret Gudmunds

Well, I have always considered myself an extrovert, and for the one criteria you mention with a biological basis--not liking a lot of stimulus--I would say I am an extrovert. I enjoy crowds and noise. But on every other criteria, I am introvert. Hate small talk, am loyal to my friends, am considered weird by lots of people. So I would just say a mature, thoughtful extrovert can act like an introvert! 

Doktor Spinn
Doktor Spinn

I've always felt that crowds and noise offers a form of anonymity. But for it to work, I need my space also in public spaces. So that's why a café is great for me, but a crowded street where everybody is going somewhere is dreadful.

Jsh
Jsh

great read, felt right at home with many of the explanations of the 10 myths :)

Mr T
Mr T

Thanks for charing your knowlidge in this area, I hope it will be of Big help for many people to understand.

S31
S31

So very true! I'm surprised that there are so many of us out there, though. Would seem that we're less than 25%. Thank you for this post - I'm going to refer to this on my own blog.

Doktor Spinn
Doktor Spinn

I'm guessing that there's degrees to how introvert or extrovert a person are. I*m also sure that a lot of introverts are behaving like extroverts to fit in socially.

Emil
Emil

This made me feel good. Thanks!

Håkan
Håkan

Scary how close this description is to my reality. More or less struggled with feeling bad at social interaction my whole life. This list is a great comfort. Thanks! Scientist from Sweden 8)

Norsk
Norsk

I love it when I find something new and think right away that that is what I am. :)

Dsc
Dsc

Spot on. I didn't have words for it before but now I know that Im a introvert.

Juliathorell
Juliathorell

Det här var mycket upplysande, känner igen mig!

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